By Eli Hastings
A deeply own rumination at the existential causes for the desperation and unhappiness skilled through these struggling with dependancy and psychological disease, this nuanced memoir brings to existence the stricken, decade-long courting among Eli Hastings and his pal Serala. At relations occasions, Serala wore saris and ate delicately from plates of curry. yet in different places, she wore a lip ring, dressmaker colors, and a cowboy hat; would constantly drink frat boys below the desk; may sleep below 5 hours per week; and might position herself in harmful occasions for an additional bag of heroin. Serala’s advanced personality and doubtless haphazard offerings are made genuine, from ill-advised quests for narcotics in Mexican border cities to unplanned 50-hour highway journeys from L.A. to manhattan urban. even though her darkish and worrying trip concluded tragically at age 27, Eli Hastings writes with hopeful answer approximately his particular friendship.
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Additional info for Clearly Now, the Rain: A Memoir of Love and Other Trips
Because Patrick was already in a long-term relationship with a woman, Joanne, whom he later married, Emily never questioned his sexual orientation. Emily acknowledges that her close friendship with Patrick may be uncommon in her circle of friends. ‘‘I’ve noticed that a lot of the gay women I get along with don’t have close friendships with straight men,’’ she said, but she did not provide any explanation for why that might be the case. Both Emily and Patrick identiﬁed some of the unique dimensions of their friendship that come from its being intersectional.
Others suggest that homophobia allows straight women’s same-sex friendships to achieve a greater level of intimacy but keeps straight men from creating close relationships with other men, for fear of being perceived as gay (Connell 1995). This assertion reﬂects social expectations of the principle of consistency (Ponse 1978), which assumes that gender norms and sexual orientation are mutually constitutive. Conventional gender norms allow women, but not men, to share feelings and provide emotional support for their friends.
I would name, you know, a friend from high school who I’m still in close touch with, my wife, maybe nobody else, and wouldn’t immediately think of Emily. ’’ Despite both friends’ mutual descriptions of closeness, Patrick and Emily admitted that these days, they infrequently socialize with each other outside of the work setting. ’’ Similarly, Emily explained that they don’t spend much time together outside of work and clariﬁed, ‘‘I mean I would love to, and I love spending time with his wife and his kids.
Clearly Now, the Rain: A Memoir of Love and Other Trips by Eli Hastings